Yes, no, sometimes? Tidying up and putting away things is a very important skill to learn from an early age. Why?
I have worked with clients who “kinda” taught their kids to tidy. Parents think their kids will do it when they get older. They generally don’t and if they do, it’s a bit of struggle as its not second nature for them. I have clients with kids in their teens, their 20’s, some in their 30’s and the parent is still picking up, sorting, putting away, turning off lights, opening curtains, doing the washing, ironing, putting clothes away…. The parent is doing almost everything! The parents are stressed, exhausted, the kids are indifferent and bored and do the bare minimum. How will they function happily and comfortably on their own?
If your kids are little, get started now, teaching them the skill of tidying so they grow up with these skills and it becomes second nature. If you try to teach them when they are teens, they have homework, exams, sports, social life, social media…. It’s too much to absorb and be consistent when there are so many other things going on. It’s like trying to teach the ABC’s or times-table when they’re 13, you start pre-kindy, not at 13.
A good idea is start pre kindy age, to pick up their toys and clean up their mess, help them, show them. Push their chair in after dinner. Put their dirty clothes in the clothes hamper, very simple little tasks to start them off and ensure it’s consistent. Before the year is out the kids are doing it automatically and ready for the next new tasks to add to their skills
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Every year add a couple more tasks, making their beds, emptying their school bag, bringing their lunch box to the kitchen, putting their sports clothes in the hamper etc.
It’s important to introduce a few new tasks every year as they grow. Help them along and teach them to manage themselves so that you, the parent, are not the constant reminder. If you are constantly reminding, then you are micro managing and the kids are not learning to manage themselves. Do you want to be doing everything for them when they are young adults?
Impossible. No. I became a full time step-mum to 2 boys, ages 9 and 11 and they had no tidy skills at all. Over a three year period, and a lot of patience and consistency, they became fully functional young gentlemen, who cleaned up after themselves, understood expectations and consequence, they valued and respected their things and our home. My late husband said he had never seen them so happy…. What does that tell you? They are no longer indifferent and bored, they contribute to the home and they play an important part in the family. How proud was I… If I could teach pre teens, you can teach little ones.
I will introduce step by step guidelines over the next few weeks to help those parents who really want to give their kids these important life skills
In the meantime…. get one of your older kids to make you a cup of tea
